MY GOODNESS!!! It's been a very very long time!!!

It has been...2 years since my last entry...

I'm in college, and I'm about to finish up my second year!!!! I'm currently dating the most amazing guy on the planet, and he just so happens to be one of my best friends :) We haven't been dating too long, but I know there's something special there with this one :) I'm majoring in elementary education, and today I actually went and had my interview to get admited into the college of ed! so I hope that went well, it felt like it did anyways!!! Um, I'm still a teenager, but in about 5 1/2 months I won't be :) so yeah! I'll be 20 this year!! I've been in college for a little while now, and it's been the greatest experience of my entire life! I love every minute of the freedom and the ability to figure out my own life, it's just so exillerating (I know I misspelled that word!) and I just feel so alive! Well that's my update for right now...maybe I'll make some more updates :)

Tuesday AUGUST 1 - appt w/ Dr. Willis 2:30PM, work 3PM-close
Wednesday AUGUST 2 - Flim the 256, church stuff
Thursday AUGUST 3 - work 3PM-close, Lunch with Beckah
Friday AUGUST 4 - BJHS starts, Laura sleeps over :)
Saturday AUGUST 5 - my PARTY!!!
Sunday AUGUST 6 - work 9AM-close
Monday AUGUST 7 - work 3PM-close
Tuesday AUGUST 8 - hang with friends, Heather's 29th
Wednesday AUGUST 9 - church stuff
Thursday AUGUST 10 - work 3PM-close LAST DAY
Friday AUGUST 11 - Andy and Eric's Birthday!!!
Saturday AUGUST 12 - start to pack up and finish getting stuff...hang out with friends if I can
Sunday AUGUST 13 - Church, finish packing up
Monday AUGUST 14 - Move-in 2PM-4PM Band camp starts 7PM-10PM
Tuesday AUGUST 15 - band camp
Wednesday AUGUST 16 - band camp
Thursday AUGUST 17 - band camp
Friday AUGUST 18 - band camp
Saturday AUGUST 19 - everyone else moves in
Sunday AUGUST 20 - Go to FBC Florence w/ Wesley
Monday AUGUST 21 - Band Practices (Band camp)
Tuesday AUGUST 22 - Band Practices (Band camp)
Wednesday AUGUST 23 - classes start
Thursday AUGUST 24 - classes, MY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!, Band practice
Friday AUGUST 25 - classes
Saturday AUGUST 26 - chill
Sunday AUGUST 27 - church!!
Monday AUGUST 28 - classes
Tuesday AUGUST 29 - classes
Wednesday AUGUST 30 - classes
Thursday AUGUST 31 - classes

TODAY JULY 1 - Melissa's 22nd, work
Sunday JULY 2 - church stuff!!
Monday JULY 3 - work
Tuesday JULY 4 - HOLIDAY!! work
Wednesday JULY 5 - church stuff
Thursday JULY 6 - work
Friday JULY 7 - nothing really planned
Saturday JULY 8 - work
Sunday JULY 9 - work, Mission Trip Meeting
Monday JULY 10 - work, Derek's 16th, BJHS Rookie Camp
Tuesday JULY 11 - no work?, Amanda's 7th, BJHS Rookie Camp
Wednesday JULY 12 - wednesday night stuff, BJHS Rookie Camp
Thursday JULY 13 - Karly's 13th, BJHS Rookie Camp
Friday JULY 14 - work, BJHS Rookie Camp
Saturday JULY 15 - ADULT MISSION TRIP
Sunday JULY 16 - ADULT MISSION TRIP
Monday JULY 17 - ADULT MISSION TRIP
Tuesday JULY 18 - ADULT MISSION TRIP
Wednesday JULY 19 - ADULT MISSION TRIP
Thursday JULY 20 - ADULT MISSION TRIP
Friday JULY 21 - ADULT MISSION TRIP
Saturday JULY 22 - ADULT MISSION TRIP
Sunday JULY 23 - church
Monday JULY 24 - work, BJHS (2nd week) Band Camp
Tueday JULY 25 - Wisdom Teeth come out
Wednesday JULY 26 - hanging out at home
Thursday JULY 27 - Kyra's Wisdom Teeth come out
Friday JULY 28 - hang out with Kyra
Saturday JULY 29 - work???
Sunday July 30 - church!
Monday July 31 - work

TODAY JUNE 1 - worked...wheee
Friday JUNE 2 - doing nothing at the moment...someone should do something with me!!!
Satuday JUNE 3 - working
Sunday JUNE 4 - church!!! and I think Team Kid starts :-P
Monday JUNE 5 - working
Tuesday JUNE 6 - working
Wednesday JUNE 7 - Passport Meeting and church stuff
Thursday JUNE 8 - working, packing for PASSPORT, and sleeeeeeeeeep
Friday JUNE 9 - leave for PASSPORT!!!
Saturday JUNE 10 - on the way to camp...at DISNEY!!!
Sunday JUNE 11 through Friday JUNE 16 - at PASSPORT come home on the 16th
Saturday JUNE 17 - film the 256
Sunday JUNE 18 - church!!!
Monday June 19 - working
Tuesday June 20 - working
Wednesday June 21 - church stuff
Thursday June 22 - NOTHING TO DOOOOOOOOOO :P
Friday June 23 - working
Saturday June 24 - working and packing for SOAR
Sunday June 25 - SOAR
Monday June 26 - SOAR
Tuesday June 27 - VBS and working
Wednesday June 28 - VBS and church stuff
Thursday June 29 - VBS
Fiday June 30 - VBS and working

Monday May 15
-Senior Awards

Tuesday May 16
-Senior Breakfast
-work

Wednesday May 17
-3rd and 4th block exams
-church (orchestra practice)

Thursday May 18
-1st and 2nd block exams
- 1/2 day!!!
-Nicholas' 1st Birthday :)
-work?

Friday May 19
-FREE DAY!!

Saturday May 20
-Nicholas' Party (Lunchtime)
-work

Sunday May 21
-Graduation Sunday
-Graduation Lunch
-Family Time :)

MONDAY MAY 22
-8AM Graduation Practice
-12PM Family/Friend's Graduation Lunch
-5PM GRADUATION!!!

Tuesday May 23
-Molly's Party 3-6PM

Wednesday May 24
-BHS (Jen's) Graduation 4PM

Thursday May 25
-Oral Surgeon appt.
-Stephen's house for a Family supper

Friday May 26
-Lydia's Graduation 7PM

Saturday May 27
-Work a DOUBLE (all-day)

Sunday May 28
-Work in the morning

Monday May 29
-Memorial Day :)
-work

Tuesday May 30
-Derm. appt
-work

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Monday May 1- Work 3:30-close

Tuesday May 2- Work 3:30-close

Wednesday May 3- AP Calculus Test check out afterwards
church

Thursday May 4- Vocab 15 test
Band Banquet

Friday May 5- WEATHER DAY
Relay for Life 7PM-11:59PM

Saturday May 6- Relay For Life 12:00AM-7AM
Reagan's 18th

Sunday May 7- Youth Choir sings in Church

Monday May 8- Dorian Gray TEST
Work 3:30-close

Tuesday May 9- Tri-M Induction

Wednesday May 10- Church

Thursday May 11- 5PM Arts Festival

Friday May 12- 100 Word Vocab Test
Senior Picnic 11:30AM
P.Puff Game 1:30PM
Meg's 18th
Elisa's 16th

Saturday May 13- Work 3-close

Sunday May 14- Mother's Day
Youth Sunday
Meghan's 18th

Monday May 15- English Review time
5:15PM Senior Reception/Awards

Tuesday May 16- Senior Breakfast 8AM
Work 3:30-close

Wednesday May 17- English Review Time
3/4 Exams (not for me!!)

Thursday May 18- HALF DAY
1/2 Exams (only 2nd for me!!)
Liberty Band Concert?

Friday May 19- FREEEEEEEE

Saturday May 20- Work 3-close

Sunday May 21- Senior Recognition Sunday

Monday May 22- GRADUATION 5PM

Tuesday May 23- Work 3-close

Wednesday May 24- BHS GRADUATION 4PM (Jen &Zac)

Thursday May 25- Mom and Dad's 32nd

Friday May 26- LYDIA'S GRADUATION!!!!

Saturday May 27- Amberley's 18th
Work 3-close

Sunday May 28- Church

Monday May 29- Work 3-close

Tuesday Mau 30- Derm. appt. 10:00AM
Work 3-close

Well as you might've guessed...I'm graduating soon. It's kinda scary and kinda cool at the same time though...I really do like it here. I like Madison and all the people in it because they are all so wonderful to me. I really can't get myself to be completely happy that I'm leaving this place. There are so many memories and so many people that I don't want to forget or leave. There are some amazing kids that are just a few years younger than me. Plus there are also my oh so many friends that are leaving here too. It's just never going to be the same and I really don't know what to do. I want to be so happy that these 12 long years of hard work is finally going to come to me getting away from it all and going to college. It's hard...to just move on in life sometimes. Especially for me...cause I just...don't move on easily after anything. I seriously am one of those people that just goes crazy about nothing, cries for no reason, and wishes they were someone else like...all the time...

Many things have happened to me this year. I guess it would be best to start with the begining...Band, that's usually a good start. Band camp and Marching Band in general was a lot of fun this year. I met a whole new group of people. These crazy sophomore clarinet girls became some of my greatest friends, a trumpet sophomore became a crush (and so did a junior trombone player), an annoying person was one of my drill techs, my best friend was just awesome all around, and I got to have a great time being a senior. Homecoming was a great time even though no one asked me. I went with Andy, my big bro, and even though I didn't really act like a "date" cause it really wasn't, it was awesome. Then of course there was the Peach Bowl this past Winter Break. I got to hang out with that trombone guy and a bunch of other people. I got to meet this really cool guy who's name is Jeremiah!!

I guess most of my stuff is about band...but aw well...oh yeah! My church put on the musical Godspell!!! It was so awesome and so much fun! I also got my braces off and cut 12 inches off my hair!!! Yeah, so New Years I hung out with my buddy KYRA. It was a blast! AFter the new year and the school year started...I got kinda closer to that trombone kid...and soon enough...we started going out in January. Patrick...was...just a great guy to me. Even though at times I complained about him and said things like he wasn't noticing me...he was still awesome and I love him for everything he was to me. The band went to District and State and we got Superior Ratings. My cousin Dawn got married and I got to see a bunch of my cousins that I haven't seen in forever. Spring Break I spent at my house. I hung out with Patrick some and yeah...that was basicly it. PROM was AMAZING!!! I had the GREATEST time with Patrick and it was just...like...the best dance. i danced almost all night and we laughed and talked...it was just...amazing. Unfortunately...not even a week after I was dumped by that same guy...And then...2 days later the band went to SIX FLAGS!!! I hung around with my good friend Andrew like the entire time. It was so very very much fun!!!

And well...that basicly brings me up to right now...cause it's...May 1st and yeah...Six Flags was April 29th...which was Saturday. Now I'm just sitting around in the Library at school because I have nothing else to do cause I'm just that boring...

Agh...I don't know what to do...so so so so BORED!!!!!!

Things to do until Spring Break...
2-15: Work 3:30-8ish, get paycheck!!!
2-16: Calculus Test, band practice (probably)6-8
2-17: District (leave school around 3) get back at 6?, 100 word vocab test, something w/ patrick?
2-18: Thrift store w/ Mol 1-2?, work...
2-19: Church, youth choir, VALENTINE'S PROGRESSIVE DINNER :D (after choir)
2-20: NO SCHOOL!, work...
2-21: work...
2-22: Tri-M meeting about Relay for life!!, church 5:30-6:30
2-23: Progress Reports :O, band practice 6-8
2-24: Linda's 18th, Vocab Test, Evelyn's party?
2-25: Grissom MT competition 7AM-4PM, Lauren HOME! 1 month :D
2-26: work...
2-27: Lauren leaves for Chile :(, work...
2-28: work... get paycheck!!!
3-1: work library w/ Beth 4-5, church 5:30-6:30
3-2: Band practice 6-8
3-3: Mu Alpha Theta Meeting, Vocab Test
3-4: Hoover MT competition
3-5: Church, Youth Silent Auction
3-6: (Grad Exam Week) work...
3-7: work...
3-8: tri-m meeting?, work library w/ beth, church
3-9: band practice 6-8
3-10: Ryan's 16th, vocab test
3/11-3/12: Dawn's wedding (gone to Indiana)
3-13: work..
3-14: NHS meeting, morningside BINGO, coffee and cake concert (7PM)
3-15: Beta Club meeting, church
3-16: band practice 6-8
3-17: Turn in TERM PAPER, State (Band), Kyra's 16th
3-18: work?
3-19: Alan's 18th
3-20: FIRST DAY OF SPRING BREAK

AVL Sources!!!
Liturature Resource Center: search William Golding, click literary analysis...
-Document 2: 'Men of a Smaller Growth': A Psychological Analysis of William Golding's 'Lord of the Flies'
-Document 3: Power and Authority: An Interpretation of Golding's 'Lord of the Flies'
Twayne's Author's Series: William Golding...
-The Anarchy Within

it's hard to believe that I couldn't see that you were always there beside me
but I was alone with no one to hold but you were always right beside me
this feelings like no other I want you to know
I've never had someone that knows me like you do the way you do
I've never had someone as good for me as you no one like you
so lonely before I finally found what I've been looking for
so good to be seen so good to be heard don't have to say a word
for long I was lost so good to found I'm lovin having you around
this feelings like no other I want you to know
I've never had someone that knows me like you do the way you do
I've never had someone as good for me as you no one like you
so lonely before I finally found what I've been looking for

Oh wow it's been forever you guys!!! like seriously!!!
I'm a senior in high school!!!!!!!!!!! it's so crazy! I only have one semester left too!! It's kinda creepy to me though...lol
I don't have any braces any more!! woot and I cut off my long hair too!!

The first amendment states the freedom of speech, religion, and the press. Some people might ask, why do we have a first amendment? Many laws are bsed upon it and it's also interpreted many legal cases. Early Americans built these laws on their beliefs that have helped us apply the first amendment to our lives. First, there was a belief that a higher law existed over all. Second, the founders believed that everyone deserved equal treatment. A third belief was that local comunities and groups had the right to form around certain and ways of life. The last belief was that a written form of a law was better than having a dictator, king, or court tell them waht the law was from day to day.
The first portion of the first amendment is the freedom of speech. It is in fact true that free speach can be a dangerous thing. However, Americans have decided that it is so important that we will not only allow it, but protect it. We recognize the freedom to express ourselves as group, through art, and through our clothing and actions. The government cannot make us express something that we do not wish to say. There are also arguements to ask if the first amendment is a privilege or a right. Just because a statement is allowed by the Consitition, however, does not mean it is guaranteed to be legal or wise. -page 16

Hey...this is an entry just so...u know that I'm still alive...

I've really got nothing to DO!!! Ack it's a Monday and I usually work on Monday's...but I wasn't scheduled today...strange...but yeah...So now I'm just sitting around doing nothing...my teeth are hurting...so I like can't even eat anything :-( but I'll live I guess...My mom will probably be home soon so that would be cool i think...I might want to go over to Walmart...and just like...go over there...

Hey well...the first week of school really wasn't that bad...I guess...I mean always starting with band really helps you get into...being in school again...Right...so...anyways...My classes aren't really that bad though. I know someone in each class...at least somewhat...anyways...just thought I'd let people in on what's going on in my life now...

oh yeah I turn 17 in 11 days....go me...

There are times...when all u can think about...or really do...is cry...
broken is my heart
broken is my life
broken is my love
broken is my strife
broken is my spirit
broken is my dream
broken is my smile
broken is my stream
broken is my hope
broken is my song
broken is my longing
broken is my wrong
broken is my worry
broken is my string
broken is my cry
broken is my everything

I try so hard not to think about him...but I mean if I'm with my friends and he's not there than everything seems to be ok...but then one of them might mention something that will remind me of him or something he did or said and I'll just go automatically to depressed mode in my head...And then if I come home and he's online I'll be like ack he's on...and then I'll try to talk to him...but then we won't even have like one decent conversation...it'll be like hey...and then he'll say a bunch of k's...but I really don't know...why do I still think about him so much? it's not like the relationship went anywhere...it barely even was one...that's what I get for rushing...gah see I told you that everything is basicly my fault...grr...why do I go around messing up my life...please someone tell me why I do that!!! But yeah...my life is full of stupid mistakes...my life is basicly a mistake all in one...

Thanks to Sharon...I have more ideas in my head...I first put them out on my xanga...and now I'll put them here...I think I've really turned towards a constantly sad person, or emo, rather than a constantly happy person, or hyper. Don't get me wrong...I mean my life is alright. I got great people, that I know deep down inside them really DO love me, but it's alright, you really don't have to say that you do...might ruin ur reputation or something I really dunno. I've lived in 3 states...though I'm only remembering 2...I was born in New Jersey and then a couple months later moved to Georgia (which I don't remember) only spent about a year there and moved back. I've grown up with some really great people in my life there. Megan and Andrew were the greatest friends I've had, man do I miss them so much...They know my childhood days...up to my preteen years. THey knew the shy me...and the "girl who chases boys at recess" me. I felt so much like a tomgirl, maybe that's why I like hanging around with guys...But yeah, Alabama...my place of home now for like 4 years already...I've already gone through to say who my friends are since I moved here...but I think I might go through each person...to how they touched my life in some way or another...don't get offended if I say stuff...but I'm not going to bring out the complete personal stuff...

Starts with the best friend: Sharon- wow she's been the most amazingly sweet girl I've ever known...met up with her in Algebra 1 where we kinda talked, and she gave me smiles. We grew together the next couple of years, I've seen her cry...she's seen me cry (everyone has)...I've held her close and given her advice and she's done the same. We've been there for each other whenever we could. We've had bad days, but every great friendship does, man I love her so much, she's almost like a sister to me, she might as well could be

Beth- Yeah there's the girl that I had fights with in the hallways of liberty...man those were the craziest days! She was like my first best friend when i moved here. She amazed me, but also creeped me out a bit. We had great fun times together, like talking about the strangest guys to like and just being good friends. She never let me down...I've let her down...but yeah, seen each other cry too, There's been a whole in the relationship, but hey...we made it up!

Mol- OH there is so much to say about her, man she's been my friend since I was like 5 when my family would visit my grandparents down here in Alabama. Every trip that she was on for church, she'd be my roomie. We'd share great times together and just be great best friends...though yeah I do have a lot of them. I love her so much...and I thank her for being here for me and sharing stuff

Morgan- Oh yeah, the morganator! Man I've really gotten to know her lately. She's been a really great blessing to me as a friend. She's so amazing and so loving and so caring, I wish she was in my grade so she'd be here one more year!

For right now...that's all I'm gunna say...

At this very moment there are tears streaming down my face. I can't bear to look at things...I can't bare to even think of things...I'm falling apart. I don't know who I am anymore...I don't know what I want...what I need...anything. I don't know what's happening...I want to be able to see...to believe people when they say that they care...I want to be able to know that everything's gunna be alright without someone having to tell me...I need someone's loving heart...a loving heart of a friend to help pick me up...Someone to be there for me...I really need someone...I'm falling apart because of all this hurt...all this pain...all this stress...everything is just hitting me like a brick and I can't get back on my feet...